Tuesday, April 26, 2011

These always make me smile :)

So I work as a full time ICU nurse. But on the side, I am a photographer. My favorite things to shoot are of course, newborns! They are the most unpredictable and hardest to shoot. They require A LOT of patience. I simply just LOVE newborns! I thought I would share these with you and hopefully make your heart melt like they do mine!

If you would like to view more, please feel free!
www.leanadiasphotography.com or Facebook Leanadias Photography

Tomorrow, the 26th, I'm having an HSG to check my tubes. OH GOODY! Then I'll have an US on Wednesday to check the progress of the follie I had on the right today. Hopefully if all goes well, I can trigger Wed and have IUI on Friday. *Fingers Crossed*

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Challenge: No peeing on a stick!

So this cycle I started gonal-f, which is an injectable med. I will follow with a trigger injectable called Novarel. With that being said, all prediction kits and pregnancy tests will be false positives. This means I will not be testing at all this cycle! I'm challenging myself to not pee on a stick until I'm late, or the day of! This is going to be very difficult for me because I'm such a control freak! I'm just going to go with the flow of this cycle. I'll have enough u/s and blood work I'm sure to keep me busy. And to be honest, my give a damn is busted. I've spent the last few days around prego friends and family and I'm wanting to know when its going to be my turn. A lot of girls on my soulcysters forum found out they are pregnant this week. Very exciting and gives me a little hope.

Tomorrow I'm going for an u/s to see whats going on in there!

Today, I celebrate Easter and thank Jesus for his sacrifice so that I can be saved. He has risen!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Not a good day.. :(

Sooo..... Yesterday was 8dpiui for me and until then I was feeling really good. In the afternoon I started having a very small amount of brownish CM. At first I thought this was a good thing. Possibly implantation bleeding?? The timing was perfect for that. So I went on my merry way throughout the day and had really good thoughts in my head about testing later this week. I had good conversation with my girlfriend jen that 6 months prego. She gave me her left over tests and we laughed about the whole iui experience.

Then I woke up this morning. I had more of what I call "spotting".  Needless to say I was freakin out. The nurse that I am made the judgement call that its more than just implantation bleeding. How could I be starting my period only 9 days after ovulation??? What the hell!?!? I was completely discouraged and told ryan what was going on. In the midst of telling him, my prego sister in law shows up at the house unexpectantly. I revert to my cave, aka my king size bed and bawl. How I fell back asleep considering I got like 8 hours of sleep is beyond me. I woke up and called my friend who is a doctor that I work with and also went through IF. She has been my go to girl through all this and has been so good to me with advice both medically and as a friend. I am just crazy about her! She said its nothing to worry about if its no more than a trickle. She actually thought is was a good thing. She girlfriend who spotted the first trimester and had a healthy baby. She did make me feel a lot better.

As the day has gone on I'm thinking its more a period rather than implantation bleeding.  I've been having menstral like cramps and generally irritated. My nips still hurt something misserable. I swear they're going to fall off!

So I'm very disheartened today and about the entire cycle. But I'm more concerned as to why I've started my period so early. I've never started a perion on my own. I've always needed provera to induce one. The whole thing is just weird. I'm gonna call my doctor in the morning and see what they have to say.

In the meantime, tomorrow is opening day of turkey season. Hopefully, I can lay a big bird down and relieve a litle stress. I also took a couple days of pto to enjoy the week. So we've been driving around on the 4wheeler on our friends farm along the missouri river and putting the turkeys to sleep.
C'mon missouri thunder chicken!!!! And cd1...... :(

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

It's ONLY dpo 4!

So... Only 4 days has passed since my IUI. Since then, I have washed all my couch cushions and pillows, cleaned the basement carpets, the upstairs carpets, cleaned the house, took the dogs to the dog park, bathed the dogs as a result of the dog park AND ran errands. Can we say "Someone's trying to keep her mind off things?!?!" LOL

For some reason, I feel really good about this cycle. I can't put my finger on it but it's a good feeling. Before, I just knew that I wasn't ovulating. And I was correct. I'm not sure if it's that the specialist that we're seeing both Ryan and myself really like, he's SUPER positive about our case or I finally feel like we're headed in the right direction.

In my heart I do feel that it WILL happen. I WILL be a wonderful mom. In the meantime, I WILL have to be patient!

A good friend heard a morning talk show host talk about infertility. She passed it along to me and I thought to myself listening to it, "Thank you Jesus! I'm not crazy! Someone else has the same mentality I do!" If you have a chance, take a listen. It's very good. Y98 was interviewing the author of the book What He Should Expect When She's Not Expecting.


Well I'm off to car shop. For a bestie, not for me!

10 more days to go!!!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Day one post IUI

So the dreaded two week wait is just now starting for me. Ugh! Im going to try to keep myself busy with lots of stuff to do. We're in the middle of remodeling our basement. So today I went around and touched up some paint spots and rearranged the furniture. I'm going to the party store later with the bestie to pick out stuff for her baby shower! I'm excited! Then we're bbqing at my in laws. The weather is so nice! I'm gonna enjoy  now while I can. I gotta work tomorrow... Boo!

I love that I can blog from my droid! That's my excuse for any typos! Tehehe!

So I have two little west highland terriers named Derby and Dozer. I love them like crazy! The last week however not so much. a few days ago we found little smelly presents that one of them left for us. So, I set up one of my husbands trail cameras uop to hopefully catch one in the act. Busted! Dozer is the bad doggy!

Friday, April 8, 2011

First IUI Complete!

Sooo.... Ryan and I got up early this morning and went to the doctor's office for our first IUI. It's definitely not how I imagined we would conceive a child, but since I can't do it alone, it will have to do. The actual process was really not that big of a deal. I held the "specimen cup" in my bra to keep warm. They took it from me and "washed" it. Then she put a drop on a slide and let us see it under the microscope. SO COOL!!! Seeing all the little swimmers going CRAZY was amazing! Needless to say Ryan was so proud and a little boastful! hehe. Doc said they were like Michael Phelps! (So weird!) It was really just like a normal PAP. It wasn't painful and I laid there for 15 minutes afterwards. We both had a feeling of "That was it?!?" Insurance won't pay for that??? Around $400 a pop is still pricey but not as bad as I thought.

The last few nights have been MISIRABLE! The clomid makes me have crazy hot flashes. People think I'm kidding when I say that our thermostat was set at 60 degrees all winter. I would set it lower but Ryan wouldn't let me! It's like I wake up and feel like I'm on fire. Then I can't fall back asleep.

I also haven't been feeling well. I'm not sure if I'm getting sick, allergies or it was just nerves.

But here's a great series I just watched called The Great Sperm Race. Pretty cool! It's a series of 6 clips on YouTube.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


So us went really good today! My follie measured 2.04 cm! Which means its ready for ovulation. I'll do my trigger this afternoon and iui is scheduled for friday am.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy myself st the StL Cards game!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Nervous- The norm lately.

I got that wonderful call at 5am telling me that I was put On Call, meaning that I go into work when the call me. I LOVE THAT CALL! However, I was kind of wanting to work to keep my mind from racing regarding tomorrows follow up ultra sound. I took 200mg of clomid CD5-9 and on CD16 I had one follie that measured 13mm. He prescribed 100mg more for 4 days to boost more growth.

As usual, I'm so nervous about this US. Besides the last US I had, I've left the appointment hysterical because nothing seems to be working. On the other hand, I'm a little anxious to see what's going on in my right ovary. Yesterday I started having cramping on the side along with being bloated. This isn't a feeling I've ever experienced before. Could that lil follie be growing in size and actually getting ready to ovulate?!? I'm going to try to remain as optimistic as possible about this. I've spent the last 4 months being a bitter debbie downer and I can no longer live like that. It's not me. Of course I will have my ups and downs but I am going to try my best to stay positive. 
My father in law gave me AWESOME tickets for the Cardinals game so I am going to take my baby sister who conveniently just turned 21! Hopefully the US goes well and the Cards take home a winner!

Tomorrow night I am meeting with my best friend to discuss her baby shower in June. I am proud that I can keep my composure around her (considering she got prego on her first attempt) and my sister on law (whos having an opps). It's harder than a wood board! The Lord gives me strength to get through it!

I have shared a US pic of what my right side looked like last week on day 16. This isn;t my actual us but very similar. You can see the dominant follie (the big black circle) and the smaller premature follies surrounding it (the ones below). I hoping that my dominant follie measures around 20mm. That would put in line to ovulate!

He'll probably make me do a HCG trigger shot to make sure the follicle releases the egg. It's an injection that contains a pregnancy hormone. Ovulation normally takes place 36-48hours after. Then its on to baby dancing aka BD or the deed. hehe but anyways, I'm off like a prom dress!


Monday, April 4, 2011


Thanks for visiting my blog! This is all new to me. I'm totally an internet junkie but not much into blogging. I decided to start a blog  as a coping mechanism for myself. I may not have many, if any followers, but at least I'll feel like someone is listening.

As for my story. My husband Ryan and I have been married for almost 4 years. We've always wanted children. However, we wanted to enjoy our new marriage and I wanted to get through nursing school! We decided that having children would have to wait.

In my adolescent years, my cycles were horrible. Irregular, severe cramps and everything else that goes along. It went in until my sophomore year of high before I was finally put on birth control pills (bcp) to regulate my cycles. It was a miraculous little pill that made the difference in the world. Until about a little over a year ago, I had no reason to test whether or not my cycles had changed since high school.

I started working nights in October of 2009 and let me tell you that it was hell. My body doesn't like to sleep during the day!  Ryan and I had talked about trying to start conceiving after I had about a year of work under my belt. I also wanted to be on days. A day position opened in June and I was set to go. I stopped taking the pill in May and I was ready to bring on the TTC!

To sum my TTC journey, I've made memos on my phone along the way to help keep track of whats gone on. Here it is!

may 2010-stopped the pill
june 19-normal period
aug 16- heavy period c severe abd pain
aug 23- appointment with dr dewey, start opk
sept 24- normal period. No smiley
oct 7- high on monitor
oct 20- low on monitor
oct 27- pap smear and started progesterone x10 days
nov 7-normal peroid
nov 11- clomid 5-9 50 mg
nov 15- day 9- high on monitor
nov 21-day 15
nov 22- follicle US-pcos
nov 29- started progesterone x10 days
dec 9- normal period
dec 13-clomid 5-9 100 mg
dec 18- false positive opk
dec 23- appointment with dr puckett
jan 5- neg test. Start progesterone x 10 days
Jan 14- last P pill
Jan 20- neg serum hcg
Jan 26- heavy period c severe abd pain
Jan 30- clomid 5-9 150 mg
Feb 3- estrogen/mucinex
Feb 8- US- smaller follicles
Feb 11 -5000 units novarel
Feb 12-+opk/peak on cbfm
Feb 23- neg hcg test
Feb 27- neg hcg test
Mar 4- -test start progest.
Mar 13- finished progest.
Mar 14- pink tinged cm, back aches, cramps
Mar 15- normal period
Mar 17- puckett visit- need to be seen by specialist.
Appointment booked with ssm dr thomure
Mar 21-appointment booked dr silber april 21
Mar 22- canceled thomure
Mar 23- appt made witten 
Mar 30- Dr Witten appt- 1 follie measured 13
Begin clomid 100mg x 4days. f/u US scheduled 4/6

LONG story short, I've had 2 failed cycles of clomid with no ovulation and 1 cycle of clomid/hcg trigger failed with no ovulation. I'm currently on my 4th round and seeing a new Reproductive Endocrinologist. I took 200mg of clomid CD 5-9 and saw the new RE doc. He did an ultrasound and it showed I had one follicle that measured 1.3 cm on the right side. He prescribed more clomid 100mg for 4 more days to allow it go grow and mature. I have an US on Wednesday to see the progression.

I'm trying to keep positive. However, it's so hard when everyone around you is pregnant, literally. The last few months have been so hard and trying.

Thanks for reading and I hope that you stick around! Leave a comment and say hi!